Month of Me! - Day 4

Tody I practiced the art of cutting myself some fucking slack.

Sometimes I'm very hard on myself and  not good at asking for or accepting help. I don't let myself off the hook very easily either and I tend to overdo things when I'm at my worst (overcompensation). It doesn't always mean I'm effective or efficient, but it usually means I'm stressed out.

Today I dragged myself out of bed after wretched sleep and immediately started a mental lashing for all the things I should've done yesterday but didn't, all the things I'll unrealistically heap on myself today and all the things I'll leave myself inevitably to do tomorrow and then I said--

STOP DAMMIT!!

I made myself stop the useless lashing and start the useful day. I told myself 'today I will do today' and I made myself a pot of Café Bustelo and cut myself some fucking slack. 

And did the day.

Month of Me! - Day 3

Today I decided to grant myself a low-guilt splurge! Indulge one of my addictions in a small but satisfying way. I hit the $4.95 sale on Audible.com and got me two new audiobooks!! (Pause for geek dance that oddly resembles Snoopy's happy dance!)

I snagged 'Helter Skelter: The Manson Murders' which I've never read and 'Journey to the Center of the Earth' which I have read but Tim Curry narrates so I had to get it for just that reason. Crush and sigh.

So there's day three of ME!! $9.90 of nerd joy!

Month of Me! - Day 2

Today I toot my own horn. In fact, today I'm going to sound like the brass section of a symphony. Today I want to tell the world some things about me that make me proud. Typically I might mention some of these things in a casual, joking manner because.... I don't know. Maybe humility or maybe just self consciousness. Whatever, I'm doing it now.

So here's a random number of things I love about ME!:

I laugh a lot! A lot! I'm the kind of person to crack jokes while I'm crying. I'll find something funny at a funeral....probably at anything that takes place in a church. 

Which tells you that my humor is also a bit crass, but eh, I'm still funny. To me at least. And since I'm a hermit my own amusement is what's important.

Oh yeah, I'm an awesome hermit! The best! I'm a boss at hermitry. 

I'm a really good girlfriend/partner/wife because I like knowing I made someone happy. Plus.....

I'm AWESOME at sex! FRIGGIN AWESOME!! Ask around, I'm a floozy too so someone you know probably knows from experience.

And yes, I can joke myself. I don't get offended very easily so I don't mind being joked either.

I'm a really good writer when I put my mind to it. I call myself a Retired Poet however. Don't ask.

I have a huge and amazingly random collection of useless trivia in my head. 

I have a huge and amazingly random collection of music in my head. Music is never useless.

I can sing a little bit.

I'm a great dancer.

For years I thought that I was sexy but not pretty. It greatly affected how I approached life. Now I know I'm beautiful and that's how I approach life.

I'm a perpetually chipper cynic!

I'm really stinkin smart and good at plenty of things and most of the things I'm the best at I taught myself.

I'm a phenomenal mom. Doubts and challenges aside, I'm a phenomenal mom.

I try really hard to be a good friend. I don't always succeed but the best intention is always there.

I know when enough's enough so I'll wrap up ShidaPalooza. That was actually fun! Not nearly as creepy and self-stalkerish as I anticipated. And I'm pretty sure I told the truth about it all. Give it a shot, what's kick ass about you? Brag, boast, show you some luv, it feels good!

Now I have to click post real quick before I chicken out and replace this with some drivel about crafts or shoe shopping. See you tomorrow! :)

Month of Me! - Day 1

I'll be 39 this month and I feel pretty damn good about it. Financially our lives could definitely be better, but emotionally I am in a really good place and I feel the same coming from my boys. That says a hell of a lot considering our journey over the past few years.

So I'm taking some time to do something I never do in a way that is really difficult for me: I'm going to consistently do something to pay attention to ME at least once a day for the next 30 days. I never pay attention to myself and I suck at consistency, so there you go. The Month of Me, 30 days of self love, self expression, self exposure, self.

I'm not quite sure what form this month will eventually take but I'm willing to drag anyone along who's bored enough to follow.

For today, Day 1, I'm sharing a video that I've shared before about a rather awful experience I had as a teenager. I'm sharing this not because I'm proud to have survived it relatively unscathed, especially since there were other more awful experiences that I was not so lucky to escape so easily, but because this is an important part of who I am today as a woman, mother, wife, and friend. This plays a large part in the lessons I teach my son (and one day I'll show him this) and the value I have for the gentle yet protective nature of my husband.

This isn't a high point but a life lesson and the best learned lessons require occasional reinforcing.

Always grateful

Yesterday exhaustion, stress and not eating properly got the better of me. I was dizzy, lightheaded, nauseous and just felt awful. At one point I was so dizzy that I cracked my forehead on the corner of a wall, giving me a nice red lump there. Not a good look.

But a life well-lived requires finding the beauty and being grateful. Mar, hubby extraordinaire, of course took care of me, the kiddo, and the toddlers (aka The Three Stoogettes) and lovingly gave me the emotional support I needed. Baby, I am so grateful.

Yesterday our super fantastic neighbors brought us a HUGE bag of much needed produce and Mar quickly turned some into yummy deliciousness that he shared with our super fantastic neighbors. I love our neighbors and I'm so grateful.

Yesterday I received a gorgeous and sweet book of children's songs as a gift from a wonderful woman who's influenced my life in positive and dynamic ways since I was three! I've been singing to the toddlers all day! I am deeply grateful, Maria!

And yesterday, after more than a year of back and forth emailing with the folks at Google (security protocols got a bit over-eager) I regained access to the email account that allows me to post to and update this blog!! I'm quite grateful to fully rejoin the blogging community WITHOUT having to start my blog over!

So, swollen forehead, sleepless night and tears aside, yesterday had some beautifully great moments and I am beautifully #GRATEFUL for each and every one!