Fuck Tolerance

Tolerance.

I kind of hate the term 'Tolerance'. 

Tolerance has become the American phrase for basically not being a dick to people who are different than you. Practice Tolerance. 

What does that mean, really? You don't like that person, you're maybe disgusted by them, but it's civil to silently hate and only tell your true ugly inner feelings to your drinking buddies, close family.... fellow church members.

Tolerance in that sense is cheap and cowardly.

Tolerance in that sense is the bacteria that has settled in the already diseased organ of America and created a perfect breeding ground for the rampant growth of the plague that is Mr. Tells It Like It Is and his supporters. He spews the vileness they've been keeping bottled up in the misguided name of Tolerance.

Tolerance is like us walking toward each other on a sidewalk, and maybe you don't cross the street to avoid me, but you surely don't look me in the eye, nod, smile, or acknowledge my actual existence in any way. You give me a snarling once over, registering every stereotypical trait to shit on later when in the company of your peers.

If that's the best you have to offer, that's all the depth you can muster, fine. That is wading in the moral kiddie pool, but some folks are truly scared of the water.

Personally I'd rather people take that extra step towards Understanding. Learn more about that thing you hate, that thing you fear, and see how much of your hatred just comes from a lack of Understanding. At the very least you Learn about something, your grasp of humanity expands, your knowledge pool deepens, you grow.

And maybe you make that grand leap to Acceptance. I don't mean Permission, I need no ones Permission or Validation to be who I am. I mean Accepting that we may be different and those differences may make you uncomfortable, but that does not justify you treating me differently in any foul or nasty way, even behind my back. You are not allowed to inflict your discomfort on me and my life.

Acceptance means when we meet each other on the street you look me in the eye, free from animosity, and ask me a sincere question about that thing that's behind your hate. And you listen to the answer. Acceptance means I assume your questions come from a place of wanting to Learn and Understand, and I answer them to the best of my ability. Acceptance means we may not walk away as friends but we can be friendly, and we can spread our new knowledge to others to assist in their Understanding.

But, like I said, if Tolerance is all you got to offer then I'll take it. I guess. It'll probably keep us from fighting in the streets. 

Oh, wait... That's not working out so well these days, is it.

Fuck Tolerance. Let's be Human. Let's Learn Understanding in order to Practice Acceptance.

I Don't Have To Be A One Track Activist

I don't have to be a one-track activist. I actually feel compassion for all the disenfranchised and subjugated peoples...

Posted by Rashida Braxton Simmons on Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Distractions

Distractions. Some of y'all keep talking about distractions. Right now I see a lot of people saying that talking about...

Posted by Rashida Braxton Simmons on Monday, June 29, 2015

Nighttime Shenanigans

3am, #BabyBump decides to go belly clubbin' and starts the nightly dance.

4am, Mar​ has to go to work, he comes to kiss me goodbye, opens the bedroom door, and accidentally blasts me with the hallway light dead in the eye.

5am, the kiddo has a nightmare and comes and climbs in bed with me, toting his bear, his water cup, and his phone with his Winnie the Pooh audiobook playing, wide awake, and compelled to relay every detail of said nightmare.

7:34am, four minutes after the 'do not disturb' on my phone turns off, I get a text.

8:30am, the kiddo wakes up and, as if he never fell asleep at all, immediately resumes his animated discussion about last night's dream.

I am SO ready for life with a newborn. Good morning, y'all.

Month of Me! - Day 10

WHEW!! I still have a randomly sick child but he's not quite as randomly sick so maybe I can get this in before midnight.

That said, all things considered I'm a pretty bad ass mom. I really am. That doesn't mean I'm a better or worse mom than any other mom out there who actually loves their kids and makes conscious efforts to do what's best for their kids.

I'm saying I'm the best mom for my kid and I do a really damn good job. We've raised a truly awesome boy so far! We've kept him happy, healthy, relatively well-adjusted (with just enough neurosis to make him quirky) and well-educated at home. I am half of the 'we' that is raising this brilliant kid, thus I am a BRILLIANT mom!

At least that's my deduction and announcement during this here self-indulgent Month of Me! Next month I'll be back to my normal self doubting, self deprecating self. Next month. This month, HotMamaShida RULES!

Month of Me! - Day 8

It's after midnight but since I haven't been to sleep I'm still counting this as day 8. Plus we just came back from a brief and painless trip to the ER with the kiddo for this blastedly persistent fever, so I'm remembering my deal to cut myself some slack and shrugging it off.

Today I did something that I've come to really loathe but my kid really loves; I played in the snow! It snowed today, the first snow of the season, and the kiddo was sick but really, really wanted to play in the snow.

So we bundled up and out we went, into the untouched snow in our back yard. We made snow angels (well that part I left to him, I have no thermals) and threw snow all about and drew pictures and words in the snow and just played for a while. It was pretty fun! Yes. later his fever returned, the uncontrollable shakes he had last night came back and we ended up in the ER, but before that we played in the snow. That was good.

Good night, lovelies. This mama is beat.

Month of Me! - Day 6

Today's day of self acknowledgement and self indulgence came by way of a package of goodies I ordered from Oyin Handmade (my effort to patronize small businesses on Black Friday while keeping my hair and skin supple and delicious).

I've been spraying and massaging and loving on my hair all day and it damn well needed it. And I'm not super vain about my hair or anything, I just very realistically understand that it's another part of my body and should be cared for as well as the rest of me. It doesn't have to be all styled and cute but it has to be healthy, just like the rest of me!

And I'll smell SCRUMPTIOUS!! Seriously, the right combo of Oyin products makes me smell like sexy cookies all day long and who doesn't want that!! 

Month of Me! - Day 4

Tody I practiced the art of cutting myself some fucking slack.

Sometimes I'm very hard on myself and  not good at asking for or accepting help. I don't let myself off the hook very easily either and I tend to overdo things when I'm at my worst (overcompensation). It doesn't always mean I'm effective or efficient, but it usually means I'm stressed out.

Today I dragged myself out of bed after wretched sleep and immediately started a mental lashing for all the things I should've done yesterday but didn't, all the things I'll unrealistically heap on myself today and all the things I'll leave myself inevitably to do tomorrow and then I said--

STOP DAMMIT!!

I made myself stop the useless lashing and start the useful day. I told myself 'today I will do today' and I made myself a pot of Café Bustelo and cut myself some fucking slack. 

And did the day.

Month of Me! - Day 3

Today I decided to grant myself a low-guilt splurge! Indulge one of my addictions in a small but satisfying way. I hit the $4.95 sale on Audible.com and got me two new audiobooks!! (Pause for geek dance that oddly resembles Snoopy's happy dance!)

I snagged 'Helter Skelter: The Manson Murders' which I've never read and 'Journey to the Center of the Earth' which I have read but Tim Curry narrates so I had to get it for just that reason. Crush and sigh.

So there's day three of ME!! $9.90 of nerd joy!

Month of Me! - Day 2

Today I toot my own horn. In fact, today I'm going to sound like the brass section of a symphony. Today I want to tell the world some things about me that make me proud. Typically I might mention some of these things in a casual, joking manner because.... I don't know. Maybe humility or maybe just self consciousness. Whatever, I'm doing it now.

So here's a random number of things I love about ME!:

I laugh a lot! A lot! I'm the kind of person to crack jokes while I'm crying. I'll find something funny at a funeral....probably at anything that takes place in a church. 

Which tells you that my humor is also a bit crass, but eh, I'm still funny. To me at least. And since I'm a hermit my own amusement is what's important.

Oh yeah, I'm an awesome hermit! The best! I'm a boss at hermitry. 

I'm a really good girlfriend/partner/wife because I like knowing I made someone happy. Plus.....

I'm AWESOME at sex! FRIGGIN AWESOME!! Ask around, I'm a floozy too so someone you know probably knows from experience.

And yes, I can joke myself. I don't get offended very easily so I don't mind being joked either.

I'm a really good writer when I put my mind to it. I call myself a Retired Poet however. Don't ask.

I have a huge and amazingly random collection of useless trivia in my head. 

I have a huge and amazingly random collection of music in my head. Music is never useless.

I can sing a little bit.

I'm a great dancer.

For years I thought that I was sexy but not pretty. It greatly affected how I approached life. Now I know I'm beautiful and that's how I approach life.

I'm a perpetually chipper cynic!

I'm really stinkin smart and good at plenty of things and most of the things I'm the best at I taught myself.

I'm a phenomenal mom. Doubts and challenges aside, I'm a phenomenal mom.

I try really hard to be a good friend. I don't always succeed but the best intention is always there.

I know when enough's enough so I'll wrap up ShidaPalooza. That was actually fun! Not nearly as creepy and self-stalkerish as I anticipated. And I'm pretty sure I told the truth about it all. Give it a shot, what's kick ass about you? Brag, boast, show you some luv, it feels good!

Now I have to click post real quick before I chicken out and replace this with some drivel about crafts or shoe shopping. See you tomorrow! :)

Month of Me! - Day 1

I'll be 39 this month and I feel pretty damn good about it. Financially our lives could definitely be better, but emotionally I am in a really good place and I feel the same coming from my boys. That says a hell of a lot considering our journey over the past few years.

So I'm taking some time to do something I never do in a way that is really difficult for me: I'm going to consistently do something to pay attention to ME at least once a day for the next 30 days. I never pay attention to myself and I suck at consistency, so there you go. The Month of Me, 30 days of self love, self expression, self exposure, self.

I'm not quite sure what form this month will eventually take but I'm willing to drag anyone along who's bored enough to follow.

For today, Day 1, I'm sharing a video that I've shared before about a rather awful experience I had as a teenager. I'm sharing this not because I'm proud to have survived it relatively unscathed, especially since there were other more awful experiences that I was not so lucky to escape so easily, but because this is an important part of who I am today as a woman, mother, wife, and friend. This plays a large part in the lessons I teach my son (and one day I'll show him this) and the value I have for the gentle yet protective nature of my husband.

This isn't a high point but a life lesson and the best learned lessons require occasional reinforcing.

NaBloPoMo - Blogging for Blogging's Sake

right now lots of fantastic things are popping up that are making me refocus my attention on writing and that's a very good thing. i need to reintegrate 'myself' into my life, being a stay-at-home-mom i realize that 'mom' and 'home' tend to be the predominate traits in my life. but writing has always been my release and a part of my life so i welcome the chance to allow it a comeback (now of course the lyrics 'don't call it a comeback, i've been here for years!' are running thru my head).

anyway, one of the things that i'm using to focus myself and keep my fingers and mind flowing is NaBloPoMo!

many of you know of NaNoWriMo or National Novel Writing Month which encourages and guides budding novel writers in writing a novel of 50,000 words in 30 days. it's a huge endeavor but can be very fun and stimulating. well NaBloPoMo is an initiative of Blogher.com to encourage and guide bloggers in posting a blog everyday for 30 days. a theme is picked and daily writing prompts (monday thru friday, weekends are free writing days) help to keep the ideas and motivation flowing. i just happened to decide to jump in this month when the theme just happens to be 'blogging for blogging's sake'!

this month is perfect for me since while i usually do have underlying intentions for the posts i write, most of the time i'm just writing to get all the voices and ideas out of my head. especially now when 90% of my in-person conversations are with a 3 year old who might be very smart but i don't think he truly appreciates my discussions on current affairs or social networking.

so, although i'm a few days late i'm going with the 'better late than never' policy and jumping in with both feet! feel free to read along or to start your own NaBloPoMo journey or check out the other awesome bloggers churning out posts everyday for NaBloPoMo. happy blogging!!

Bi the Way: I am Bisexuality at it's Finest!

this is a post from my new, R-rated, NSFW, cover the kid's eyes blog Other Side of Mama. on Other Side of Mama i take great and grand liberties in letting my freak flag fly and kicking the censors to the curb. on Other Side of Mama i pay homage to the foul-mouthed floozy within! and as such, my first official post there is being highlighted on BlogHer.com in the Life section (HAPPY DANCE!!)! I'm very proud of this and i wanted to share my news all over the place so if the kids are in bed and you're not feeling too sensitive, hop on over and give it a read, tell me what you think! :D

s

perspective

your mindset shapes your life. it shapes how you see the world, it colors your opinions of situations and people, it determines whether you have good or bad experiences.

i was just reminded of a very short story that had a very big impact on me. in the 1920's a bunch of fellow writers challenged ernest hemingway to write an entire story in just six words. six words, and hemingway felt it was his best work. six words:

For Sale: baby shoes. Never worn.

i read that in high school, freshman year. i thought it was one of the saddest things i'd ever seen. it was so pointed, it felt like it had to be just six words because it was too tragic a story to relay anymore than six words. i thought it was a story of loss and suffering.

about a year ago i was asked if i'd ever heard the hemingway six-word story, to which i replied, "i've heard it but i don't remember the words. i do remember it's something ridiculously sad."

i googled and found:

For Sale: baby shoes. Never worn.

this time i was struck at how sweet and joyous the story was! this time it was a story of growth and surprises. it was funny and cute and i read it over and over, smiling the whole time. i wanted to remember it.

perspective.

the first time i read the story, i read it with the mind and experiences of a cynical teenager. i was rebellious and often jaded, i didn't see that the world had a lot to offer and most of what it did give was sorrow life was about loss so the story was about loss.

when i read it again as an adult, i read it with the mind of a woman content with herself and her world. i read it as a woman in love, a happy new mom, a confident woman. i read it as the mother of a healthy baby boy that just outgrew three pairs of shoes before he ever had a chance to wear them. this time, the story was beautifully triumphant.

perspective. everything i see is colored by my perspective, which means that living with a good perspective keeps my experiences wonderful and uplifting. i have wonderful experiences because i choose to see the wonder in my experiences.

it's all about your perspective.

I'm a Bad Motha-! - my kid's a jerk!

my kid's a jerk! yea, that's right, i said it; MY KID'S A JERK!

even more annoying is the fact that he's a very intentional jerk. i don't think he intentionally means to be a jerk, but he very intentionally does things that are extremely jerk-like.

po-tay-to, po-tah-to, whatever. he's a jerk.

i will say that his general jerkiness is making me into one of those crafty moms, so it has it's good side. for example, all babies love the drop-and-pickup game. it's a riot to them for whatever reason to take whatever object is in their hand and repeatedly drop/throw it then squeal heartbrokenly if you don't retrieve it for them.

of course when you do they just drop/throw it again. big fun.

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="153" caption="our little lion at his true angry best"][/caption]my kid takes drop-and-pickup to another level. he'll squeal, screech, and flail about until he has a good sized collection of toys and trinkets within arms reach, then he'll hurl them one by one to the nether regions of the room, then squeal, screech, flail about or contort/struggle/writhe and attempt personal injury until he gets them back...individually. don't try to pick them all up at once and hand them to him in a bunch. not unless you want him to smack them onto the floor, or even more fun, throw them at YOU individually. and for a 1 yr. old his aim in uncanny.

after having to leave the room a few times and count to ten while taking deep cleansing breaths, i had to realize that he's only doing it because his way means he gets my attention for longer. even if i ignore the game for a little while, he'll bang his head on things, throw himself backwards, try to twist out of whatever he's strapped into almost to the point of giving himself rope burn; he'll force me to pay attention to him for as long as he deems necessary.

he's a jerk, but he's very intelligent. he's wiley. so am i.

i've now found ways to strap everything to him or to whatever contraption he's strapped into. it's particularly awesome when he's in his stroller and done playing with whatever bottle, cup, or toy that was occupying him and has to hurl it with all his might to show his completion; kind-hearted people damn near dive like their going for home base to catch the poor baby's object before it touches the nasty ground only to feel foolish when the object boings and lands back in his lap thanks to whatever cord or device i used.

somehow, he also senses when i'm trying to keep him on a schedule to that i can get some kind of work done. again, he knows that a scheduled day means less face-time for baby and this is not an option.

these are the days when the baby adrenaline kicks in.

he won't sleep. sleep is the enemy and the enemy must be defeated.

he will pull out every stop in his efforts to stave off the enemy. i've seen my child pull at his own hair, punch himself with toys (not the plush, squishy toys, the hard plastic ones), even bite his own toes so hard he left teeth marks just to stay awake.

and of course the more of this he does the more attention he requires because, you know, it hurts him. a lot.

so basically he won't sleep and he won't let me put him down for 5 mins. because he'll injure himself. or his new trick is to jam anything, including his own fist, so far down his throat that he pukes. then he does a happy dance in said puke and holds the offending, puke covered object out to me with a big, 6 toothed grin.

WHAT A JERK!!!

i mean if the person you lived with acted like this just for their own amusement you'd put their crap out on the street and change the locks! i'm probably not going to put my child out yet, but i don't care what you say, he really is a jerk.

begin

have you ever read "lady in the water" by m. night shyamalan? not the movie, even though contrary to popular preference i liked the movie too. i mean the book that the movie is based on. it's a children's book, he wrote it for his own kids.

it is classic shyamalan, there are twists and bizarre developments, and in the end you may not feel he answered all of your questions. i love it.

there is so much room for you (and your child) to elaborate on the story and turn it into something of your own. my little one is only 8 months old, so the imagination part is totally up to me right now, but i don't mind. it gives me time to hone my storytelling skills so that when he's 5 he doesn't already think i'm lame.

shyamalan knows he's building a foundation for the creative mind to build on, the last page doesn't read 'the end', it reads 'begin'.

it's new years, the first day of a new year. it's probably the one day when the masses are simultaneously thinking about change and growth and all things new. today we think about the year ahead and what can happen differently and there is so much room for twists and bizarre developments.

it's all new today. you might have the same job, schedule, car or whatever, but if your mindset is new, it's all new. start a new story of your life and make it elaborate, make it your own. today you're new.

begin.

enough

i believe we create our own existence. by what we hope for or don't hope for, by what we focus on or don't focus on, and by what we surround ourselves with or don't surround ourselves with.

if you choose a life that includes happiness, love, health and harmony and embrace all of that in your current life, you will always welcome more into your life. self-fulfilling prophecy.

if you choose a life that includes anger, loneliness, illness and discontent and embrace all of that in your current life, you will always welcome more into your life. self-fulfilling prophecy.

i've had enough.

no more conspiracy theories, no more random paranoia, no more higher and lower levels of evildoers waiting to do me harm. no more gossip and no more nastiness. no more.

i've had enough.

i choose what will be present in my life.

to be informed about the actualities that exist in this world is smart, to be inundated with the potential evils that could exist in any world is self-destructive.

tell me something good. tell me what you love. tell me what made you smile today. and i'll tell you the same. i'll tell you why i think you're cool. i'll tell you about something beautiful i saw. i'll tell you something sweet.

let's shine some light in each other's worlds instead of casting shadows. there can never be enough of that.

I'm a Bad Motha-! - Sounds of Music

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="240" caption="do you hear what i hear?"][/caption]

Music is important. Music is a crucial part of life and growth. In all honesty I can't think of anyone that I like who doesn't listen to as much music as I do or more. It does't really matter what you listen to, it just matters that you listen. If you have the skill, make some music. Listen to the music for any time period and it will tell you much more about the events and people of the day than any history book. Music is important.

The first lullaby I can remeber came from the warm and loving voice of my dearest aunt bernadette. she would sing a song of empowerment called "Something Inside So Strong". I've been on school choirs since elementary school not because I'm a great singer, but because I love music and I can hold a tune. My mother loved old Mowtown and my dad loved old jazz, so there was an endless flow of both in my house growing up. My older sister dug R&B and my older brother was into Baltimore House and Hip Hop (back when it was still Rap). Even my little brother found his musical soul in current Hip Hop. I listened to all of it because it was all available for me to listen to.

However, from my tweens thru my teens, I was a rocker. I was a big fan of the 80's glam bands, plus some stuff that were a little heavier and some stuff that was a little lighter. I always had a radio (and eventually a boom box) in my room and I would let it play all night long. I would snooze deep with heavy metal playing in the background. I would only wake up on the few occasions one of my parents crept into my room to turn the music off. After a while they just let me be.

It became a need, I needed music to fall asleep or do anything productive while I was awake. Living on my own that was never a problem, I could blast tunes while studying, cleaning, writing and of course sleeping. Even when I had roommates, I could still play music to work or put me to sleep, just maybe play it quieter than I would ordinarily. But then serious relationships start, so I'm not just sharing an apartment with someone, I'm sharing a bedroom with someone. All of a sudden it occurs to me, what happens if this other person likes to sleep in silence? What if they can't read with music on or they have to turn it off to concentrate.

Sometimes that was the case, I had to get used to working or cleaning or such in silence, even though I never really liked it or felt I was as productive as I could have been. But I never got used to sleeping in silence. For a while I became a terribly light sleeper, every sound woke me up. Then a wonderful idea occurred to me; I can sleep with headphones on! Oh joy, everything is right in the world again!

Now, I'm in love with a music lover! He's a DJ and totally understands the need for a soundtrack to life. My baby is even a music lover, he likes for me to sing to him and dance with him, and sleeps better with music playing. I can't always have music playing when working around the house because I have to be able to hear the little one, but I think he sympathizes and so he makes his own music for me; beating his toys on his tray, singing and squealing at the top of his lungs and dancing and kicking his happy feet. His music is important too.

Like the sounds of history, the sounds of music in my life have changed drastically over my life, but it's always present and it's always reflective of the person I am that year, that week, that day. It's my soundtrack.

a hug from the universe

i love when i can actually look around at the tangible and intangible things in my life and see, fully see, the energy i put out coming back to me. the hopes, the love, the dreams- all reflected in my day-to-day life. even better is when it's a surprise!

right now, my life is pretty damn good. i have so much love in me and around me that i sometimes don't know where to put it all. i am in love and it's the first emotionally mutual relationship i've ever had. it's the first time in my life i've been with someone who was just as in love with me as i am with him, at a time when we were both available to each other. the same man i took to my high school prom, and i loved him just as much then. we have a healthy, beautiful, energetic, happy, loving son and we all adore each other. 

but the expanse of positive wealth in my surroundings has layered over into other aspects that i'm just truly understanding.

i realized when i got pregnant that my social life was going to change. i would have to limit the time i spent with lots of my friends, only because they are good people and there are some things good people don't like to do around pregnant women. even if it's play loud music or have a cigarette, some people are just protective of the mother-to-be and my friends are those people. i didn't want them to be uncomfortable so i didn't hang out much. and the same applies to a woman wearing a 6 month old strapped to her front. there are some things good people just don't like to do around kids. i totally get it.

but i was missing a community. i was feeling a bit isolated and it was an unfamiliar feeling to me. i've always spent a lot of time alone, it was often the side effect of being a black nerd. but this time i was in unchartered waters and it was unpleasant. kinda like 'castaway'; i felt like i was reinventing fire....only in my womb.

but then, in what was a remarkably quick show of understanding, all of the members of my new community surfaced and gave me a little hug, even if we never saw each other. i got messages and emails from couples and mothers and soon-to-be mothers and lots more happy, nappy, natural people and it was all love and peace. it was sharing and laughing and offers of help and i was always touched and reassured. i was given a circle where i could laugh when i felt like crying, talk freely about disgustingly personal bodily functions and not have a single raised eyebrow, and just hang out and not feel like i was bringing the party down.

and i love my old friends, they are still my family and so close and dear to me and i see them whenever i can. i even take the baby sometimes (he's just too cute and people need to see him sometimes, he makes them happy!). and now i'm even more blessed with another family that i can call out to for advice, amusement, and nervous breakdown avoidance and they all have their own level of 'i've been there' experience. 

this is my big ol' hug to all of you! every one of my family and friends who knew to send me love when i needed it. who offered me help (even though i'm not very good at asking for help), who shared a story, who hung out with me at various levels of hormonal schizophrenia.

thank you, i love you, and i'm hugging you right now.

p.s. this big ol' bear hug goes out especially to kandi, tomeka, tori, the bennu tribe, mirlande and fam, stefanie, and meagan cuz you love our babies soooo much!

I'm a Bad Motha-! - Food for Thought

Breastfeeding. Breastfeeding. Think about that word for a sec - breastfeeding. Literally, feeding a person from a breast. My breast. If you've done this before it probably just seems rather innate after a while, and I'm sure after a while it will seem innate to me too, however right now I am painfully aware that several times a day I have to feed a person from my breast.

Now let me preface this by saying that yes, breastfeeding is a wonderful thing, the bonding time with my baby is very cool especially when he's staring up at my face like he's memorizing every freckle. It's so sweet... but there are some definite quirks to the situation.

It's a rather surreal event sometimes. I mean, we'll skim over the whole 'leaking' fun and not dwell on the uncontrollable flow of fluid from body parts that are now 5 sizes bigger than they were just one short year ago. It's just so weird that now the process for alleviating hunger for a member of the household now requires me to be topless at odd and often public times and places.



And you can look at me and plainly see that I am a rather buxom broad. My girls were pretty large and in charge before getting pregnant, then during pregnancy they began get a little more robust and dynamic (but they were almost eclipsed by the growing dome just inches below them), and now they are a new breed of wild beast. So I watch some women breastfeed and it looks like such a delicate and non-evasive process, but when I whip one of my massive ta-ta's out it is blatantly obvious that my boob is bigger than my infant's head. BIGGER THAN HIS HEAD! And my kid has a pretty big head. Luckily it doesn't have a funky shape or anything because it could definitely knock down his cute points. But still when my kid is latched on several times I've look down and thought, "That looks like the number 8."

Think about it.

The comparison is that for some fortunate lady with a C-cup, breastfeeding in public just looks like a woman cradling a baby to her bosom, the beautiful back of the baby's head obscuring any sign of mommy's skin. From almost any angle a halo of flesh is visible around my baby's head when he's sucking on me. Then, for an added bonus, my little boy likes to grab my shirt and lift it up and down, up and down, flashing any eager eyes that happen to be wandering our way.

And the biting.

Don't let anyone tell you that gums can't cause pain. Gums, gnawing little gums, gums connected to jaws that have no impulse control can freakin' hurt! Especially when those gums are gnawing on swollen and sore boobs, it really freakin' hurts. And I really want to do what's best for my boy and breastfeed him until he's at least 6 months, but I don't know - once his 1st tooth comes in we just might have to renegotiate this contract. I'd hate to accidentally punch the li'l guy in the top of his head for biting his dear mommy.

Like I said, breastfeeding can be endearing and quite cool and I'd do it all over again without hesitation.... well, without much hesitation.