knew ya ears

The new year tends to have a universal effect on people. It tends to be a time of personal reflection and task-setting, high hopes, and shortly after, fallen aspirations. We generate a grandiose ideal of what we will be and achieve in the coming year only to dissappoint ourselves with short-lived successes and catastrophic failures. Are resolutions and unattainable goals a necessary way of life?

this is always the time, isn't it?
you can't help it, stop it, deny it or
even attempt to tuck it away beneath a heaping veneer
of cynicism or overt cheer-
catch yourself barkin, and never soundin sadder
"another day, another dollar", frontin like nothing matters.
or robotically
and hypnotically gushing
an unending evolution of resolutions, perpetually rushing
to put a week long bandage on some lifelong issue.
it's like an addiction, this is always the time to look-
it's always the time of analysis, retrospect,
hindsight, and introspect;
dialogue amongst souls.
soul to soul-
mortal souls to-
immortal souls to-
amoral souls to-
moral souls to-
fill the holes...
to know the knows...
to end the woes...
to send the flows....

it's always for one vivid moment of rebirth
that we chose to examine our self worth
our place in our societies,
the feel of our own bodies,
our emotional stocks...
our spiritual commodities.
the word 'new' is surrounding us,
shit we thought we knew is drowning us,
nothing seems true and it's hounding us,
that out of the blue it's grounding us;
that one more time we let the beginning
catch us right in the middle
of what should have long ago been the end
of so many huge and miniscule things.

is there really much sanity in
the repitition of humanity
to make and break vows
wringing tears and profanity
from the most earnest and
well-intended beings.
those who were only seing
the possibilities for achieving,
the possibilities for dreaming,
to wake up from sleeping-
to let go of the grieving caused
by the cycle of days that preceded this.
rose-colored vision viewing bliss
in the cycle sure to follow.
stuffing those roses into the hollow,
choking on them, unable to swallow
the stark naked blatancy of it all.
that nothing changes with the dropping of a ball-
that your identity does not come tagged at the mall-
it's not a list but a choice that will change it all-
that sometimes you just have to fucking fall
because some pain teaches lessons,
and overcoming gives pride to stand tall.

besides, the beginning isn't always at the same time
for one as for another.
cultures and calenders vary from each other.
maybe it's at the determination of our Nature Mother
and the push of our birth mother.
....maybe we come to life when first we take a lover....

what about the birth of each new moon,
would that bring internal reflection too soon?
i know a look at ourselves with each rising sun
might not be nearly as much fun
as a drunken toast to auld lang syne
and a scribbled bunch of items that we resign
to always do or never do. but by the time
we sober up and try to find
our solemn oath and grand design,
weve silently dropped the last two lines.....
and while were turning it over in our minds,
are we really going to have the time
to devote to that last 4 or 5?
.....you know what, nevermind.

if we insist on taking action it should be for a real reason.
it's nothing but dillusion if it's only for a season.
if it's only to follow some fill-in-the-blank cliche'
save your clever ideologies for another day.
it's only once we get the gist
that it's about the breadth of our life,
not the depth of our list.
and for once try this to avoid a bit of sorrow,
don't take any oaths you only plan to borrow,
and don't make any promises today, that you can't keep tomorrow.

then maybe when again the year is closing
you can resolve it with honest rejoicing.
with a dissolution to resolutions
as a redundant ritual-
daily dissection you've made habitual,
and the value you see in the individual
moment has been realized.
your life has been actualized--

and i knew ya ears would be open to recieve me
because the year's new,
and so are you-
if you believe me.