belly love
Originally uploaded by r.s.m.b. Sees
I am so pregnant. If you haven't read my blogs on MySpace, that statement might be a new bit of news for you. If you've seen me in the past month or so, it's definitely not. I look like I swallowed a honeydew melon whole, and I kinda feel like that too. I can get away with wearing my man's clothes... well, his shirts.... that are baggy and kinda hang loose on my bulbous belly, but then I just look fat and frumpy (no matter what he says). When I wear my maternity clothes (shit, y'all, I have maternity clothes!) I definitely look like I am so damn pregnant.
Some days it's totally cool, I kinda dig it actually. Especially when I'm walking the streets with the ol' man and he tells some long lost friend that 'we have a bun in the oven'. Then I really don't mind looking the part. The day we went for our most recent ultrasound and got to see the growing monkey in my tummy (the li'l monkey almost wouldn't stay still long enough to get a picture, already rebellious like mama and hyper like papa) I was proud to sport my big bulge. Now that I'm at the halfway point in the whole deal ('bout 5 months now) and I'm just starting to tell the difference between baby movements and gas, and a lady told me the other day she couldn't tell I was pregnant, I just looked like she did after a big meal, I'm getting used to the fact that I got a lot more bulging to do so I'm trying to adjust quickly.
But then days like today when every part of my ever swelling body hurts, and I have muscle aches in places that even my rather flexible yoga skills don't touch, and I wake up with my first taste of Braxton Hicks contractions, toting this giant belly is just a pain in the ass! When I can't even bend over to pick up the pen I dropped, and I'm peeing twice an hour (that might be too much information, but you could have stopped reading a long time ago), and my sore boobs and cramping back have decided to be my painful enemies, and then I think, "I'm only halfway through this whole thing, I have soooo much more bulging to do!!!" I am so over this pregnancy deal.
That does not mean I don't already love and adore the little wonder that's currently residing in me, I really do. It's cool to know that I love someone I've never met, so I can't imagine how much I'll love the li'l monster upon arrival. If only the hyper devil would stop beating on my bladder like a bongo (no seriously, we saw this on the ultrasound-- papa to be found it very amusing). It's amazing how bipolar this seems to be making me.... more so than usual.
I am doing some things to make sure this li'l one knows mama from day one. I read out loud often, lots of poetry, Maya Angelou, Nikki Giovanni, and some Stephen King (hey, I like it and I don't want a skittish, squeemish kid) for starters. I put my mini-speakers on my tummy and play good music; Donny Hathaway, Stevie Wonder, Fertile Ground, and Raul Midon are some of the folks on the current playlists. Yoga will hopefully keep me from being too miserable and make a little yogi to boot. I have to admit, I do wish papa would participate a bit more- maybe talk to the li'l one or read a story or two to my growing belly to help create a bond (with both of us during this process), but he's being excellent in all other aspects. His focus is taking care of me and making sure my needs are met, so I'm sincerely appreciative, truly.
Other than that, all I got to say is that I am so PREGNANT!
