ALS Ice Bucket Challenge!

Post by Rashida Braxton Simmons.

The Truth of Sorrow and Empathy

Post by Rashida Braxton Simmons.

Dear Asshole

Some people come with WAY too many disclaimers!! Too many rules that people need to abide by to be considered worthy of their company, and in return they get to behave in whatever obnoxious manner they see fit just because they constantly shout, "I'M AN ASSHOLE, THIS IS JUST WHO I AM AND YOU EITHER ACCEPT ME OR LEAVE ME ALONE!" Then of course they get uppity when folks sometimes just leave them alone. "THEY JUST COULDN'T HANDLE ME!" 

You're probably right. They couldn't. If you openly acknowledge that you're an asshole, you need to openly accept that you'll probably get treated like one. Yes, the world will accept that you are just an asshole, it's who you are and you simply just can't help it. But too many of you are under the delusion that 'acceptance' means 'tolerance'.

It does not!

For me, acceptance means I am willing to understand that this is just how the situation is going to be. You are an asshole, ok, I get it. Sigh. However I still have a choice! I can choose to keep the asshole in my life, knowing that the asshole will happily continue to be an asshole, or I can choose to leave the asshole alone, knowing that the asshole will happily continue to be an asshole. I tend to leave assholes alone. Just let 'em be.

But I'm a nice person. Some folks might decide to slap the asshole or cuss the asshole out or sleep with the asshole's spouse. The thing is, Asshole, your karma kinda sets you up for this and YOU need to accept that.

If you are determined to be an asshole, you should be determined to be treated like an asshole. Accept that.

Often the flip side is too damn much work! Even subtle assholes require a lot of work to maintain friendships with! Those folks with these vaguely spoken, but mostly unspoken, policies about what can or can't happen, can or can't be spoken, should or shouldn't be worn, laughed about, frowned upon, etc. in their presence!! 

You know the ones, when you leave them you feel like you're back in high school and just took your final exam and you're in the hall wondering, "Did I answer question 8 right? Maybe I shouldn't have written so much? Or maybe I should've written more!" You leave the asshole's presence thinking, "I wonder if they're mad at me for saying that? Why did she look at me like that? Was that a joke or were they serious?" IT'S EXHAUSTING!! And worse, it's not worth it! Why?

BECAUSE YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!! 

Would you think it was worth it to hang out with you, Asshole? I guess you probably would, or else you wouldn't be so much of an asshole and think it was ok. Not just ok, that it makes you somehow smarter, stronger or better than those around you who aren't assholes.

However, I personally think the price of admission to your world is too high; you're asking for too much patience, too much egg-shell walking, too much tolerance for your behavior while not returning that tolerance to those willing to accept it, and basically, as my dad would say, too much "shuckin' and jivin'". Like most luxury items, you might serve a purpose and be fun to have around, but in the end I really can't afford you and I'm probably better off without you.