I'm a Bad Motha-! - Adjustments

It's amazing the things that one can adjust to in a short period of time.

I never thought I would not only get used to, but actually enjoy having a person drool or vomit on me. Having been a wild ass drunken club kid it's not the first time in my life that these things have happened, but it is the first time that I thought it was cute.  Granted, it's baby puke and drool, but it's puke and drool nonetheless.

I've adjusted to having liquid flowing from me without my control. It's an odd little dilema, when I'm home these days it seems pretty fruitless to wear a top because my giant, fat baby will either drool or puke on it, or attempt to eat through it to get to my boobs, however walking around topless has led to trails and puddles of breastmilk all over the apartment. Also, I've had female friends point out that if I don't wear a good bra more often my boobs will soon be in my lap (since I am a rather buxom broad).

I've adjusted to the post-partum narcolepsy. It's funny, I can't sleep when I want to because my child has radar and will always wake up as soon as I lay down intentionally (his radar is also excellent for knowing when I'm about to eat or have sex), but as soon as I try to sit and read a book or watch a movie.... 3 hours later I wake up wondering what the hell happened.

I can't even think of all the things that have changed over the past 4 months that are now just a regular part of my life and I guess being a mama means just taking it all in stride.... and only owning wash-and-wear clothing.

I'm a Bad Motha-! - Shut Yo' Mouth!

I'm a mommy! This is of course the focus of much of my writing because it is the focus of most of my life. I'm having a ridiculously interesting time at mommy-hood and I'm finding parts of it to feel like an extention of pregnancy.

For example, people feel compelled to offer advice, old wive's tales, related stories.... hell, people just want to talk to you! I feel like the world's most neglected prom queen (I say neglected because 1. things like my personal hygiene often take backseat to things like 'tummy time' and diaper blow-outs and 2. no one is paying attention to me for me, it's just because I'm toting this pretty ass baby boy who stares at people intensely with dark grey and brown eyes that melt even grown men like butter.). I got a lot of this when I was pregnant and for some reason I thought it would end when I was not pregnant anymore. I wouldn't have to nod my way through another rendition of "When I/my sister/my best friend/my sister's mother-in-law's coworker was pregnant I had the worse (insert random dignity demolishing bodily function here)!!! What you need to do is (insert random OTC/backwoods/voodoo remedy here)!" Now it's changed to; "When I/my sister/my best friend/my sister's mother-in-law's coworker had my first baby, my baby had the worse (insert random bizarre or disgusting baby bodily function here)!!! What you need to do is (insert random OTC/backwoods/voodoo remedy here)!" And don't get me wrong, a big chunk of these stories and antecdotes have come in handy.... and many have not.

Beyond all of that, I'm learning about the mommy that I am because of the mommy my baby needs me to be. We're shaping each other and giving each other what we need to smile and grow everyday.

And I'm learning to do a remarkable number of things with one hand!

Every now and then I have my moments of doubt, but I always remember something- I am not a fearful person, I make wise and brave decisions and I trust myself. I can always take a deep breath and remember; I'm a BAD MOTHA!