I keep making plans with myself; plans to exercise daily, plans to write daily, plans to paint my finger and toe nails, plans to sit on the patio and watch the sunrise while sipping coffee and listening to my favorite songs, plans to become a morning person in general.
I suck at keeping all of these plans.
Isn't the first step admitting the problem? I have a big problem with personal accountability. In an office or other work environment I'm great, I will have your office running like water off a duck's back. I will beat your deadlines and you will be thrilled with my results. I'm great at doing this for other people but I have never been able to do this for myself. Not well enough to progress at certain things the way I know I'm capable of. Not nearly as well as I do it for others.
Why!?!
I'm thinking about this a lot right now as I contemplate the true value of returning to school to finish my degree. To what end. What will it contribute or take away from my life? What--? Just what!
I was taught to follow rules, get a degree, get a good job to move forward and all that jazz but I don't want a job, I want to create my own life and prosper and teach my son to do that. I want what my dad did by building his empire. I don't want an empire but I have a voice and I want to use it. I want to write my story in the way that suits me. I have a story and a life that has so much purpose and I see it and I want to share that and I know it's my bliss so it will be how I prosper with my family, in whatever shape that takes for us.
I want to teach Kendi the lesson of building his own life and creating his own dreams and fulfilling them and my degree would have been that for me 10 years ago but now I would rather put that sort of hard work and dedication into the dream that I've had since childhood.
So I will. That's it. That's my motivation. No more tentative plans with myself because I'm the most permanent thing in my life. I need to be my most important obligation. Shit. Ok, let me do this.
25 March 2014
24 March 2014
One Day After Science Class...
(Super long proud mama post, bear with me.)
So this weekend, after the science workshop, Ian (the instructor) came over to have a conversation with Kendi.
Ian: Kendi I want you to know that I'm very proud of you! You're the youngest kid in the class and you keep up every week. And you have an excellent vocabulary (the boys in our group kept comparing things to poop and Kendi asked if they could stop talking about 'defecation') and reading skills (he read the background information for the project out loud to the class). Plus I love your hair this week! (Cornrows.)
Kendi: THANKS!
Ian: Since you're a motivated scientist, I have a homework assignment for you. Ready?
Kendi: OK!
Ian: I want you to find out who Roy G. Biv is.
Kendi: (very slowly) Roy? G? Biv?
Ian: Exactly! Do you need me to spell it?
Kendi: (still slowly) Not yet. (He stares out the window frowning.)
Another kid was there waiting for his mom and asked "Is he a super scientist?"
Ian: No but it does relate to next week's science project. Kendi do you know how to look it up?
Kendi: I can Google it. I'll check but it sounds like the colors of the rainbow.
Ian: (silent, then holds up his hand for a high five) My man!
Other kid: There's no roygeebiv color!
Kendi: It's the initials! Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet!!
Ian: You are one smart little brother!
Kendi: And I did my homework before I even left class!
I'm just amazed that he even knew that since I know I didn't teach it to him. I asked him later and he shrugged and said he read it or saw it on a video.
Then later, when I asked the kiddo to tell Mar what awesome things the teacher said about him, me still rejoicing in our great #homeschool review AND excellent praise from his instructor.
He happily turned to his father and with a proud grin said "He said he liked my hair!!"
How's that for #perspective!!
So this weekend, after the science workshop, Ian (the instructor) came over to have a conversation with Kendi.
Ian: Kendi I want you to know that I'm very proud of you! You're the youngest kid in the class and you keep up every week. And you have an excellent vocabulary (the boys in our group kept comparing things to poop and Kendi asked if they could stop talking about 'defecation') and reading skills (he read the background information for the project out loud to the class). Plus I love your hair this week! (Cornrows.)
Kendi: THANKS!
Ian: Since you're a motivated scientist, I have a homework assignment for you. Ready?
Kendi: OK!
Ian: I want you to find out who Roy G. Biv is.
Kendi: (very slowly) Roy? G? Biv?
Ian: Exactly! Do you need me to spell it?
Kendi: (still slowly) Not yet. (He stares out the window frowning.)
Another kid was there waiting for his mom and asked "Is he a super scientist?"
Ian: No but it does relate to next week's science project. Kendi do you know how to look it up?
Kendi: I can Google it. I'll check but it sounds like the colors of the rainbow.
Ian: (silent, then holds up his hand for a high five) My man!
Other kid: There's no roygeebiv color!
Kendi: It's the initials! Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet!!
Ian: You are one smart little brother!
Kendi: And I did my homework before I even left class!
I'm just amazed that he even knew that since I know I didn't teach it to him. I asked him later and he shrugged and said he read it or saw it on a video.
Then later, when I asked the kiddo to tell Mar what awesome things the teacher said about him, me still rejoicing in our great #homeschool review AND excellent praise from his instructor.
He happily turned to his father and with a proud grin said "He said he liked my hair!!"
How's that for #perspective!!
Urban Hippie Love - Staying In Touch
Hi there!
I've been filtering and sorting through the messages I've gotten over the past year or so and I've realized I get a lot of parenting, relationship and homeschooling questions. Way too many of these messages have gone unanswered either directly or through some sort of post so I'm tackling that task now.
One question I get asked a lot in various ways is if my husband, son and I are as 'touchy feely' in person as we appear to be in public and on the web. I guess we are big on the PDA's, huh? (I love you, babe!!) Well I pulled our family blog Urban Hippie Love out of retirement and posted my answer there! Click on over and check it out...
Keep the questions coming and I promise to be better about keeping the answers coming! :)
I've been filtering and sorting through the messages I've gotten over the past year or so and I've realized I get a lot of parenting, relationship and homeschooling questions. Way too many of these messages have gone unanswered either directly or through some sort of post so I'm tackling that task now.
One question I get asked a lot in various ways is if my husband, son and I are as 'touchy feely' in person as we appear to be in public and on the web. I guess we are big on the PDA's, huh? (I love you, babe!!) Well I pulled our family blog Urban Hippie Love out of retirement and posted my answer there! Click on over and check it out...Keep the questions coming and I promise to be better about keeping the answers coming! :)
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