14 March 2006

I'm bored, I'm a bitch, and red's a good color on me.

I can pick a fight with damn near anybody. Not like petty, li'l squabbles about what celebrity is doing who, or what reality show is actually real -those actually make my ass itch (the reality shows and the arguments). I mean, I am fairly good at reading people and seeing more than one side of a situation, so I can turn a seemingly harmless conversation into a rousing debate, bothering the hell out of someone else but delighting me to no end. It's a gift, I don't own it.
It can often be quite amusing at boring dinner parties and friends have used me to break up with boyfriends or girlfriends when they were unable. Unfortunately I've had to control my gift since at times in my own relationships... well, let's just say I often don't know my own strength.

However, I screw with myself the same way. I guess that's what it takes to be a cynic like me, having an "Eh, who knows?" attitude when it comes to life in general, but being curious enough to research things because I do want to know. But how many of us do want to know? And how many of us are willing to be our own devil's advocate to find out? Do you ever really challenge, research and investigate your own ideas, strictly to see if they hold water? Hhhmmm...

Hey, you there, petition writing, protest march organizing Women's right's advocate over there? I know that you say that you want all women to have the exact same rights, privileges and responsibilities as men, right? I gotcha, and I feel ya, but would you feel the same way if your 18 year old baby girl, who may have had dreams of going to college to start her career as an obstetrician or teacher, just got drafted to go fight a war and possibly die violently in some far off land, just like the many sons and fathers before her? Does that change your stand point or strengthen it?

Or here's one for the masses, all my internet buddies; I know y'all hate big brother, Da Man, da gub-ment, all the secret, covert hidden entities that hide behind big office buildings and budgets and small initials like FBI, CIA, and that new catch-phrase "Homeland Security". Throw any of those or a countless number of other unknown titles about and all of a sudden men in suits have permissions like never before to creep in and out of every crack and crevice of your life, all of who and what you do. The term 'having a bug up your ass' has much grander scope now. The average joe-schmoe finds this blatant invasion of privacy horrid and offensive; we rant about how the American government is just finding more and more ways to keep us imprisoned and voilate our lives. We want them to mind their own business and get up out of our collective ass basically.

But wouldn't that mean that we really couldn't get upset when another terrorist cell, serial killer, or mass murderer slips through the cracks? Because they are smart enough to live amongst us, have families, go to our schools and colleges, buy houses in our neighborhoods, chill on the same websites we chill on, and you can't say, "don't watch me but watch him" because how will 'they' know who to watch...unless they, well, watch? How many times have you turned on the TV and heard a shocked next door neighbor saying, "But he seemed like such a nice man. Quiet, kept to himself mostly." Are you on the internet to meet new people you age, network, sell your book or movie, or are you a pedophile and rapist, are you trading instructions on assasination plots thru codes passed on dating sites disguised as casual dating banter? It happens.

Ok, you get where I'm going I hope. Seriously we get so set in believing, even beyond believing, simply assuming that what knowledge we carry in our own heads is the most accurate info available. Oh screw diplomacy, most people think, "I'm right, you're wrong!", and then they stick their fingers in their ears and chant, "La, la, la, la. la!!", with eyes closed to the world. A more enlightened few will skip on the plugged ears and blind eyes and actually listen to the opinions of others, before walking away and quickly discarding the words like such rubbish; "Humph, I'm still right and he's still wrong."

Rarely do we achieve the intellectual level of the scholars, shahman, yogis, prophets, and cool ol' mamas and dreads that always seems to know everything, that we can actually push, test, reprove and challenge our own ideas for the purpose of either validating a long-standing belief, or (hell of all hells) possibly learning something new and having to ingratiate it into the limited scope of our current existence.

Oh the humanity.

We live in a chain email, blog & bulletin, headline and RSS feed world, ladies and gents. For a scary large number of us, our general knowledge is being gleaned from these immediate sources exclusively, and only the shortest of those (if I were a gambling woman I'd put hard cash that only half the people who start this even made it this far... natural selection, thinning the herd, maybe). These are the Headline Believers! Their beliefs lie in whatever the headlines tell them. They don't want to put much thought into self or other examination, just be told what to think for the day.

"Today's emails and posts tell me that this list of people are criminals and/or gay, these people are politically incorrect and leading to the world's demise, this email will bring me luck (or death), and by clicking here I can get unlimited credit and erections. Cool, I'm updated. Amen."

Those who have more time, energy, need, curiosity, know-how, or a combination of these traits will spend some more time searching and reserching deeper, seeking answers or more questions (just how unlimited is that unlimited erection). They might even double click, utilize a search engine or two, even (GULP!) pick up a book! Even cooler.

And often wise people willingly and humbly admit to themselves and others that they were wrong. Maybe about everything.

So, c'mon, monkey with your brain a little, I dare ya! Do you really have the cajones!?! Pick your most sensitive topic, think about it for a bit, go deep, to that icky place that you usually avoid like a professional dodgeballer, then pick up a pen or tape recorder, or sit down to the keyboard, and be your own worst enemy. Openly, honestly, and savagely. Don't bullshit yourself and pull punches just so you end up on top, we do that everyday and it defeats the purpose of even trying.

What fucks with you: abortion rights, the death penalty, Affirmative Action? Whatever it is, if you're usually 'pro' be the 'con' for once....wait a minute Black people, that didn't come out right, we already got a problem with that, but you know what I meant.

You need some more ammo? Ooh, ammo...guns....you know what, that's too easy. Actually, it's just a bad Dick Cheney joke waiting to happen, so let me try something else.

Let's talk- behind your hand, 'in hushed tones' depending on your skin-tone or need for political correctness- about the 'N' word. There is a lot of muss and fuss over the use of the word 'nigga' as a Black-friendly term these days. For years many Blacks have said it's okay for us to say it when talking and referring to each other, but should it cross the lips of anyone of any other nationality hell, fire, and the great Black wrath shall rain down on them. Y'all know we got some hostility issues, don't front. Damon Wayans is attempting to copyright the word to use for a clothing line, but is being denied by the copyright office.

Side note: I mean you just could have knocked me over with a feather; I cannot believe they are denying his request!?! I am positively flabbergasted! Ok, I just wanted to use the word flabbergasted, I love saying flabbergasted but not once have I had the opportunity to write it. Felt good. Anywho-


Are you one of the Black folks that hates the infamous 'N' word and believes that it must be destroyed? You think it's derogatory, demeaning, a throwback to times of slavery and to make the word popularized is to take a giant step back in the progress of the race? All right, gotcha.

Devil's advocate: don't we tell kids from the time they can first go to pre-k. and we know the torment of socialization with their peers is about to begin, to always remember that "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me." Yes it's childish, but children are purer people, without exposure to the stereotypes, hatred, bigotry, and plain nastiness that we've been exposed to. We teach them that. The whole point of that simple little rhyme is to attempt to remove the same negative power from words like 'stupid', 'ugly', 'nerd', 'bitch', and yes 'nigger' that this pure person is about to be exposed to. So why would you tell a 2 year old not to give those words power to hurt them, then turn around at 20, 30, 40, and so on and give just one word 100 times more power?

What's more, don't we teach that our people survived the horrors of the Middle Passage, losing our heritage of being Kings, Queens and warriors in a land of our own, losing our names, our languge, our culture, centuries of slavery, fighting and dying for the most basic rights just to get where we are today, still having to do three times as much just to be considered half as good but still holding positions as heads of corporations, political leaders, a powerful role models in the community.... but one little 6 letter word will be the undoing of the whole race. Really? Plus, I know a massive female population who now embrace being proud, sexy, intelligent bitches, when 10 years ago calling them bitches would have gotten you a stiletto in your particulars.

Being open to the possibility of a new idea means unclenching, letting go of some of the immediate, knee-jerk need to respond, "No, it's just wrong!! It's a vile disgusting word and the longer we allow 'nigga' or 'nigger' to be spoken in movies, music, and print as easily as it is, the more Black people will fall!" Being open means peeking at the possibility that the longer we give the word that negative energy, the longer it has power to instigate riots, gang violence and FCC violations. Speaking of which, watch any prime time broadcast TV show from 1985, then from 1995, then from 2005; the words you hear these days would have gotten those FCC panties all in a bunch back then!! The South Park episode when the FCC gave them a certain number of times they could say the word 'shit' in one episode so they crammed as many shits in there as they possibly could was CLASSIC! I could just be perverted....and way off the topic....

Look, I'm just being that li'l devil on your left shoulder, whispering 'but what if' in your ear. I've always been good at getting people all riled up (one way or the other) and I've recently discovered I look damn good in red anyway, so it seemed a fun role to fill for a spell.

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