everyday

my heart was very up and down today. mostly good feelings about good people doing good things. but mingled in were tiny stabs at my self-worth and sharp pangs in my heart.

there was so much I should have said today. things I wanted to say to maybe help someone else and things I needed to say to help myself. but the words were buried under blankets of fear and denial; fear of hurting or losing someone and denial about whether I was even right to begin with.

I could have been so much more today. I could have been stronger in some places and softer in others, more disciplined in some things and more relaxed in others. but it's the end of the day so all I could have been today is exactly what I was, and all I can be is waiting to be explored tomorrow.