Retrospect

This was the beginning of my second adulthood, I think. After several dark and dismal years, and a re-establishment of my independence, I was granted the most serene and life-giving moment of stillness on a desolate beach in the Caribbean. I knew that even though my life was still destined for many more back breaking heights to climb, my strength had just tripled and I would be all right for quite some time. And I was cleansed.

-i remember-
-last night
upon a deep inhale-
clarity cascaded down foreign walls,
papering them with familiarity
-and bit-by-bit dripped
into my broken mind-
and without warning
-i remembered-

-this clarity was surrounding
all of my confusion
and seeping into my sanity-
-this clarity came bearing
gifts of memories
-of inner dances at dusk
-of joy in solitude
-of strength and solidarity
-this clarity kissed me
upon my creased brow-
-wringing tears from
unfocused eyes
-sending shivers through
my shaken body
-all because i remembered-

-i remembered-
and my thoughts traveled back
-pass the chaos and carnality
-pass the helplessness and hopelessness
-pass the desolation and desperation
-past-
to the past person
-whose heart overflowed with
treasures and kindness
-whose mind overflowed with
revelations and beauty
-whose life overflowed with
splendor and simplicity
-oh, how i remembered-

-and remembrance
brought realizations
-of false images and expectations
-of a fraudulent personality
i had no more need for
-of the parasitic beings feeding on my tolerance
-and as the slow drip of
clarity
-moved to a trickle of
tranquility
-then transformed into a shower of
awareness
calamity became calm,
hostility became harmony
and insolence bowed down to innocence
-and i was reborn
as liquid light-
-as i smiled, and remembered.