Dying Breath

I occasionally experiment in more structured forms of poetry, just to make sure I'm really learning something while I'm doing all of this. "Dying Breath" (the title is very explanatory of it's meaning) is my loose attempt at a Villanelle.

I felt the need for further explanation here. Many poets try their hand at writing a Villanelle after reading and falling in love with the meter of Dylan Thomas' "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night." The actual format for a villanelle is roughly: the first five stanzas are triplets, and the last stanza is a quatrain such that the rhyme scheme is as follows: "a-b-a a-b-a a-b-a a-b-a a-b-a a-b-a-a." The trick is that the 1st and 3rd lines from the first stanza are alternately repeated so that the 1st line becomes the last line in the second stanza, and the 3rd line becomes the last line in the third stanza. The last two lines of the poem are lines 1 and 3 lines, respectively, making a rhymed couplet.

And now, without further ado...

"Dying Breath"

When all is done, I want not be remiss
in justifying every thought. I must
explain the rationality of this.

When all seems well I know what lurks amidst
the harsh facade of light; I feel true dusk
is clutching me. But I would be remiss

to not include my desperate need to tryst
amongst the gleeful ones I will to crush.
Do I lay rationality to this,

or are my words taken out of their gist?
Are acts the only venues deemed as just?
Then all of this would simply be remiss

had my meek hands not lent segway to fists
of strength in which my weeping heart could trust
to do what rationally came to this.

My journey's cease. Depart with farewell kiss
upon the brow of love, bestowing thus
I've fallen way, my soul would be remiss
to not mourn that it had to come to this.